Showing posts with label Dark Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dark Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Release Day Blast: Immortal Matchmakers



Grand Prize Giveaway
5 Accidentally Yours Paperbacks + a signed copy of Immortal Matchmakers Inc 
+ magnets and bookmarks + a SADDLEBACK leather tote.  

Four Runners Up
a signed copy of Immortal Matchmakers + magnet + bookmark


IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC.
Immortal Matchmakers #1
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Released Aug 24th, 2015


BECAUSE…dysfunctional immortals need love, too.

ANDRUS
Once the most powerful immortal assassin ever to exist, this demigod now spends his days pining for the girl who got away: Helena. Doesn’t help that he’s also Helena’s full-time nanny slash bodyguard. But now that the apocalypse is over and her husband, the vampire general, has returned home for good, it’s time to move on.

But can Andrus let go of the woman he secretly loves?

Cimil, Goddess of the Underworld and owner of Immortal Matchmakers, Inc., knows the solution is finding another gal. The right gal. But getting a woman to date this callous, unrefined, coldhearted warrior will prove to be the biggest challenge of her existence. Good thing they’re in L.A.

When aspiring actress Sadie Townsend finds herself one week away from being thrown out on the street, the call from her agent is like a gift from heaven. But when she learns the job is teaching the world’s biggest barbarian how to act like a gentleman, she wonders if she shouldn’t have asked for more money. He’s vulgar, uncaring, and rougher around the edges than a serrated bread knife. He’s also sexy, fierce, and undeniably tormented.

Will Sadie help him overcome his past, or will she find her heart hopelessly trapped by a man determined to self-destruct?

BUY NOW


NOT PG13 Excerpt:
She turned the corner and slammed right into something warm that smelled like sinful manly deliciousness—leather and freshly cut wood and some other floral notes she couldn’t pinpoint.
When her gaze traveled up, up, up, two bright turquoise-blue eyes stared down at her with amusement.
“Oh God,” she said. “I’m so sorry.” She jerked her hands back from the man and watched a devilish smile form on his two sexy lips. With the short black beard he sported, his mouth looked like a sexual centerpiece, created for serious adoration.
“No worries,” he said, with a slightly accented voice as deep as the ocean and as silky as her black panties.
Panties? What panties? Hers had just melted off.
Sadie tried to pull her eyes away, but looking at his face was addictive. He’s so goddamned beautiful. Slightly high cheekbones, square jaw, straight nose with a faded scar across the bridge. That short dark hair was kind of a mess, like he’d just showered and dried it with a towel, but the rest of him looked like sleek sex in a dark suit—tall, lean, and muscular, with an air of old-world sophistication. Or maybe not sophistication as much as it was…well, she couldn’t put her finger on it.
“Eh-hem,” a woman nearby cleared her throat, knocking Sadie back to reality.
Reluctantly, Sadie peeled her eyes from the gorgeous, tall, godlike man and found a slender brunette with long hair, bulgy eyes—sort of like a reptile might have—wearing a skimpy black dress, and hanging on his arm.
How embarrassing. She’d totally been caught drooling over this woman’s date.





a Rafflecopter giveaway


New York Times and USA Today bestselling Romance author, host of the radio talk show, Man Candy, on Radioslot.com.

When San Francisco native Mimi Jean went on an adventure as an exchange student to Mexico City, she never imagined the journey would lead to writing Romance. But one MBA, one sexy husband, and two rowdy kids later, Mimi would trade in corporate life for vampires, deities, and snarky humor.
She continues to hope that her books will inspire a leather pants comeback (for men) and that she might make you laugh when you need it most.

She also enjoys interacting with her fans (especially if they're batshit crazy). You can always find her chatting away on Facebook, Twitter, or saying many naughty words on her show MAN CANDY on Radioslot.com!

Find out more about Mimi and upcoming books at www.mimijean.net.


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Deadly Three Day Sale



Legally Undead quote sale
 
A reluctant vampire hunter, stalking New York City as only a scorned bride can.
Elle Dupree has her life all figured out: first a wedding, then her Ph.D., then swank faculty parties where she’ll serve wine and cheese and introduce people to her husband the lawyer.

But those plans disintegrate when she walks in on a vampire draining the blood from her fiancé Greg. Horrified, she screams and runs--not away from the vampire, but toward it, brandishing a wooden letter opener.

As she slams the improvised stake into the vampire’s heart, a team of black-clad men bursts into the apartment. Turning around to face them, Elle discovers that Greg’s body is gone—and her perfect life falls apart.  


Legally Undead, by Margo Bond Collins, World Weaver Press
A Top-10 Preditors and Editors Readers' Poll Best Science Fiction and Fantasy Novel
Legally Undead - #10 Science Fiction and Fantasy
 


Excerpt
The worst thing about vampires is that they're dead. That whole wanting to suck your blood business runs a close second, but for sheer creepiness, it's the dead bit that gets me every time. They're up and walking around and talking and sucking blood, but they're dead. And then there's the whole terminology problem--how can you kill something that's already dead? It's just wrong.


I was twenty-four the first time I . . . destroyed? dispatched? . . . a vampire. That's when I found out that all the books and movies are wrong. When you stick a wooden stake into their hearts, vampires don't disintegrate into dust. They don't explode. They don't spew blood everywhere. They just look surprised, groan, and collapse into a pile of corpse. But at least they lie still then, like corpses are supposed to.


Since that first kill (I might as well use the word--there really isn’t a better one), I've discovered that only if you're lucky do vampires look surprised before they groan and fall down. If you're unlucky and miss the heart, they look angry. And then they fight.


There are the other usual ways to kill vampires, of course, but these other ways can get a bit complicated. Vampires are notoriously difficult to trick into sunlight. They have an uncanny ability to sense when there's any sunlight within miles of them, and they're awfully good at hiding from it. Holy water doesn't kill them; it just distracts them for a while, and then they get that angry look again. And it takes a pretty big blade to cut off someone's head--even an already dead someone--and carrying a great big knife around New York City, even the Bronx, is a sure way to get arrested. Nope, pointy sticks are the best way to go, all the way around.


My own pointy stick is actually more of a little knife with wood inlay on the blade--the metal makes it slide in easier. I had the knife specially made by an old Italian guy in just about the only ratty part of Westchester, north of the city. I tried to order one off the internet, but it turns out that while it’s easy to find wood-inlay handles, the blades themselves tend to be metal. Fat lot those people know.


But I wasn’t thinking any of this when I pulled the knife out of the body on the ground. I was thinking something more along the lines of “Oh, bloody hell. Not again.”

Legally-Undead---Quote4a

_____________________________________________


99-cent Sale Links

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Legally-Undead-Vampirarchy-Margo-Collins-ebook/dp/B00KKV44BK/

Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/legally-undead-margo-bond-collins/1119607989?ean=2940149615803

Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/legally-undead

Universal Kindle Link: http://bookShow.me/B00KKV44BK

_____________________________________________

About the Author

f15b1-margobondcollins

Margo Bond Collins is the author of urban fantasy, contemporary romance, and paranormal mysteries. She has published a number of novels, including Sanguinary, Taming the Country Star, Legally Undead, Waking Up Dead, and Fairy, Texas. She lives in Texas with her husband, their daughter, and several spoiled pets. Although writing fiction is her first love, she also teaches college-level English courses online. She enjoys reading romance and paranormal fiction of any genre and spends most of her free time daydreaming about heroes, monsters, cowboys, and villains, and the strong women who love them—and sometimes fight them.

_____________________________________________  

Connect with Margo

Newsletter: https://confirmsubscription.com/h/d/03A21E5E161401F0
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/margocollins
Email: MargoBondCollins@gmail.com
Website: http://www.MargoBondCollins.net
Blog: http://www.MargoBondCollins.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MargoBondCollin @MargoBondCollin
Google+: https://plus.google.com/116484555448104519902
Goodreads Author Page: http://www.goodreads.com/vampirarchy
Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/MargoBondCollins
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/mbondcollins/
Tsu: http://www.tsu.co/MargoBondCollins

Legally-Undead---Quote21a

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A Little Unexpected Magic For The Holidays








 When who's your daddy is a multiple choice question...

Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt is one client away from fa-la-la-la-losing it. Holiday cheer is in the air, gun-toting fruitcakes are in her office, and she's spinning through mood swings fast enough to make her toss her cookies--even without the morning sickness.

When Ol' Kris Kringle goes AWOL after a nervous breakdown, his disgruntled elf is convinced that only Matilda can get him back on his sleigh in time to keep humans from tearing each other apart quicker than couponeers at a Black Friday sale.

But their efforts hit the skids when the men in Matilda's life show up and demand to know which of them is responsible for the bun in her oven: the hot hit man who's likely to stuff her stocking with ammunition, or the delicious demigod who's made Santa's naughty list a couple centuries running.







I like gravy.
This has nothing to do with the rest of my bio, but I thought you ought to know.
About the writing thing...
I wrote my first play when I was six and made my brothers perform it for my parents. I charged gum wrappers for admission (a steal, in my opinion, considering I had handed out the gum wrappers ahead of time). While I seriously doubt you'll be seeing any of my formative work on Broadway anytime soon, I can credit these early experiments with the first of many important lessons I learned about writing: no matter how brilliant your manuscript is, some kid can go streaking butt-ass nekkid across the living room, and totally undermine your vision.

Everyone watches the naked kid because running across the living room with your cheeks flapping in the breeze is friggin' hilarious.
Cue the lightbulb moment. People like funny stuff!
I never quite gave up on the writing thing, even as I tried my hand at being a dusty academic turned Executive Assistant (they paid me to nag! How cool is that?), but in those quiet moments when expense reports had been filed and to-do items checked off, the funny people in my head kept talking to me.
Yes, I know they have medication for that. It's called vodka.
Since they discourage drinking at work, I started writing instead. What came out was an amalgamation (vocabulary!) of all the things I love: funny stuff, art, psychology, food, people, and paranormal critters!
Et voila! The Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist were born.

When I'm not sitting in my office watching cat videos and pretending to write, I like cooking, knitting (badly), and reading anything that makes me laugh (like my bank statements).
I live in Colorado with my brilliant husband and three surly cats.

  
Want to catch up on the rest of this Amazing Series?  Well here is your chance!














Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Halloween Trick or Tease!

A Wicked Read Just in Time For Halloween


Undeadly by Cynthia St Aubin
The Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt Paranormal Psychologist Book 6
Published October 21, 2014 by C. Olsen

Synopsis -

When life sucks, and so does your next client...

Halloween is just around the corner, and life is bringing Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt all tricks and no treats. Ghosts haunt her in the organic produce aisle, she's been roped into attending a costume party she'd sell her soul to avoid, and the delicious demigod who once warmed her couch is taking his clients and his attentions elsewhere. 

But when even her lethal hit man lover fails to recognize the threat lurking in the shadows, Matilda finds herself confronted with one hell of a problem—surrender what's left of the life she knew, or face losing herself to the madness that took her mother. (Goodreads)


About the Author:

Cynthia St. Aubin wrote her first play at age eight and made her brothers perform it for the admission price of gum wrappers. A steal, considering she provided the wrappers in advance. Though her early work debuted to mixed reviews, she never quite gave up on the writing thing, even while earning a mostly useless master's degree in art history and taking her turn as a cube monkey in the corporate warren. 

Because the voices in her head kept talking to her, and they discourage drinking at work, she started writing instead. When she's not standing in front of the fridge eating cheese, she's hard at work figuring out which mythological, art historical, or paranormal friends to play with next. She lives in Colorado with the love of her life and three surly cats.







Deadly Pursuit Review

Deadly Pursuit by Nina Croft
Blood Hunter Book 2
Republished October 28, 2014 by St Martin's Press
4.5 Galactic Howling Moons

"A mystery, a comedy, a sci-fi fantasy and a passionate love story all rolled into one."

Synopsis -

He craves his own freedom.

Jonathon Decker knows how to keep his enemies close—and his allies closer. But what about his women? Everyone wants a piece of the world’s sexiest werewolf, now that he’s been broken out of prison. Enter Alexia, the High Priestess of the Church of Everlasting life. Captivating and independent, Alexia is everything Jon could want in a woman. But can she be trusted? It will take more than one night of endless passion to find out…

And she is his to possess… 

After twenty-four years of faithfully playing by the rules, Alex is finally ready take fate into her own hands. Her passion for Jon is a force to be reckoned with—and the way he makes her feel keeps her coming back for more. But their desire could lead them both down a dark path—one in which there’s no turning back. How much will each of them risk to be together…for all time? (Goodreads)

Review -

The perfect blend of science fiction, paranormal and romance, and enjoyable by any gender. The greatest books are the ones that make readers stop and think, what if? Nina Croft proves with each book in this series that she truly understands that concept. Creating a world after the earth has been destroyed, and showing that mankind still lives on, and survival of the fittest still applies.

High Priestess Alexia the entirety of her life living under the rule of others. While being doted upon hand and foot, she was also sequestered to a glamorous life of servitude. Told what to wear, how to talk, how to behave, more importantly, how to think. When she finally sees the opportunity to break free, even if only for a short while, she jumps on it, or rather in. Taken in by the Captain of El Cazador Alexia assumes a new role in life, as well as a new gender becoming Al the cabin boy. But good things must come to an end, as Al learns with bitter clarity as the Church learns of her whereabouts and demand her return.

 An alpha werewolf without a pack to protect can be a very dangerous thing. Jon cannot forgive himself for the events that tore his pack apart. Becoming a lone wolf and an assassin seemed the only solution for him. But the moment he meets the "cabin boy" his world is turned on its axis as every instinct he has comes back online, no matter how much he tries to fight the pull. The wolf and the man may want the same thing, but the man is determined to resist.

One determined to live a full life in a short time, the other still running from the life he once lead. Together they can either be each others downfall, or salvation.

Full of non-stop action from beginning to end, plus a bonus scene at the end, the Blood Hunter series is a true must read. Both male and female lovers of sci-fi and paranormal alike will enjoy this read. Characters to love, characters to hate and characters to make you laugh. Not for the squeamish or faint of heart as there is violence, bloodshed and steamy, hot sex that will have you reaching for your lover and making them very happy. This is a re-publish, so for those who have already read it, here's your chance for an actual paperback, so that you may have both Jon and Rico right at your fingertips.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Cover Reveal & Sneak Peak: Deceptions




Deceptions By Sean Hayden
Book 2 of the Demonkin
Published October 21, 2014 by Untold Press (www.untoldpress.com)
Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 71k  Pages:  198


Blurb

The great State of California has elected themselves a new governor…and he’s a vampire! Many hope it will bring some peace between the humans and vampires. Many don’t, which could be the reason someone is trying to kill him. Knowing they can’t protect him from supernatural terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security turns to the only people who can, the FBI. More importantly, their only vampire agent. Ashlyn may be Governor Greer’s only hope, but can she keep him alive without starting a war of her own? When the lines begin to blur and it becomes difficult to separate her enemies from her allies, Ashlyn may end up doing just that.

Due to mature content recommended for 18+


Available at Amazon

And all other Amazon stores. Free on Amazon Prime KOLL and Kindle Unlimited.




Author Bio

Born the son of a fire chief, Sean naturally developed a love of playing with fire. His family and friends quickly found other outlets for his destructive creativity. Writing is his latest endeavour

Always a fan of the macabre, mythical, and magical, Sean found a love of urban fantasy and horror. After writing several novels in this genre, he found, fell in love with, and immersed himself in steampunk. He has always wanted to rewrite history and steampunk gave him that opportunity.

Sean currently lives in Florida as a fiber-optic engineer as well as an author. He was blessed with the two most amazing children he could ever hope for, has met the absolute love of his life, who coincidentally is his partner in everything. His hobbies include grand designs on world domination as well as a starring role in his own television sitcom.



Excerpt:

"I've told you fifteen times already, Agent Grimes, I don't know how he died. Cicero and I fought and I heard Thompson getting his ass kicked. I ended the fight as fast as inhumanly possible and rushed out to help him. That's when the cavalry came in through the proverbial window. When we went back into the office, Cicero wasn't undead anymore." I sighed as I recounted the made-up chain of events for the fiftieth time since returning to Washington, D.C.

I closed my eyes and thanked the gods the events of the past month were over. The weeks I spent working as an agent in the Chicago field office of the FBI had been pure hell. I got my partner assaulted by one vampire, and then killed by a different vampire named Cicero. The master of the City of Chicago had been a crazed lunatic and my partner paid the ultimate price. I held back the tears for my dead friend and smiled, for the gods had given me Thompson, my current partner, werelion extraordinaire, and the only reason Cicero had his ashes in a ceramic container and I didn't.

"Agent Ashlyn," Agent Grimes began and cleared his throat, "the forensic team found Cicero's body with his throat torn out and completely drained of blood. Let me get this straight, you have absolutely no idea how he 'became un-undead'?" I'd answered this question so many times I was about to snap, and how dare he quote me to myself.

"Grimes, I've explained this a hundred times and at least five of those times to you. The wounds inflicted on Cicero couldn't have killed him. Even a common vampire couldn't be killed by blood loss, so I didn't kill him. Even if I had, it would have been self-defense! The deputy director himself congratulated me on a job well done. Why the sudden change?"

"It's easy. We didn't know you ate the rogue vampire, Ashlyn. You're an FBI agent, hired to police the rogue vampires. That means bringing them in so they can be incarcerated, tried by jury, and punished by a court of law!" He seemed to mean every word he said. Was this guy joking? A vampire who kills somebody doesn't get a jury. They'd be lucky to get a cell without a window.

"Which is why I tried to non-lethally subdue him," I lied again through my teeth. The douchebag abducted my injured partner, used him to get to me, and then killed him without a second thought. If you ask me, he got what he deserved. I fought down the urge to flip my superior off and walk out of the room. "What else can I do for you, Agent Grimes? I've answered all your questions, I've filed all my reports, and honestly I don't know what else to say. If you don't believe me, the Deputy Director will have my resignation in the morning." I stood and made my way to the door, not giving the mousy man a chance to respond.

I thought the entire act of my rebellion quite debonair until I placed my hand on the knob and tried to turn the handle. I could have sworn I heard a trombone somewhere in the room going wa-wa-waa. Talk about ruining the moment. I watched Grimes when he came through the door. He didn't lock it, so I knew something wasn't right. I turned around and stared at the balding man sitting at the table tapping his pen on his notepad and staring pointedly at the mirror on the wall. "Sonofabitch," left my lips beforeI could curb my tongue.

Instead of rounding on Grimes, I walked over to the mirror. I stopped in front of it and crossed my arms. I thought about knocking on it to get their attention, but settled for my secondary idea. I uncrossed my arms and held out my talon. Slowly, I etched a circle slightly larger than my head in the otherwise perfect surface of the glass. Once it was completely etched, I rapped my knuckles against it. I smiled as the circle fell out smoothly and shattered on the floor in the tiny dark room behind the mirror.

A normal human wouldn't have been able to see in the dark room, but I didn't have a problem. I peered in and saw the Deputy Director standing next to a tall slender man I'd never seen before. I stood there staring at the both of them and waited for some sort of explanation.

"Agent Ashlyn, please meet me in my office in five minutes," the Deputy Director said without a hint of emotion or surprise.

I seriously considered telling him what he could go do with himself in his office, but I blinked and pulled my face from the Ashlyn-sized hole in the glass. I turned and strode past Grimes. By the time I reached the door, the handle was unlocked, denying me the satisfaction of ripping the door off its hinges. I snarled and made my way to the elevator.


Teasers/Quotes:

What doesn't kill you often hurts like a son of a bitch.

"Kid, I hope you know you're filling out the report on this one."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault, chief. They had rocket launchers."

"Why is it with you, they always have rocket launchers?"

"Whatever works? They keep missing with the smaller crap." 

He laughed, a little.

"Can we get a ride?"

"Not if they're still out there with more rockets."

I really hoped not to get shot tonight. I hated clothes shopping. 

I didn't look back as we got into the suburban and drove back to the hotel.

Why should I look back? Marcel would fix it. Marcel fixed everything.




More books by Sean Hayden

Rise of the Fallen Series

The Demonkin Series

Anthologies

Novellas


Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Vampires Need Not...Apply? Review

Vampires Need Not Apply? by Mimi Jean Pampfiloff (ARC Review)
Accidentally Yours Book 4
5 Bloody Fangs and Galactic Stars!

"Most titles in this series have hidden meanings, turns out this installment has more than just one."

Synopsis -

This is book 4 in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Accidentally Yours paranormal romance series. 

Meet Dr. Antonio Acero. Heir to Spain's wealthiest family, world-renowned physicist, and dedicated bachelor. While on vacation in southern Mexico, Antonio discovers an ancient Mayan tablet. Local legends say it contains magical properties, properties that could put his stalling research on the map. 

But is this really his lucky break? 

When Antonio attempts to put the tablet to use, he'll discover that Fate has other plans. Her name is Ixtab, and she's quite possibly the deadliest deity who ever lived.

Approx. 85,000 words. (Goodreads)

The Accidentally Yours Series 
BOOK 3.5: Accidentally...Evil? (a Novella)
BOOK 4: Vampires Need Not...Apply?
BOOK 4.5: Accidentally...Cimil? (a Novella) (Coming in January 2014)
BOOK 5: Accidentally...Over? (Coming in August 2014)

Review -

I have yet to come across one book in this series that I dislike.  Its as though Pamfiloff has conjured Krestley Cole, Lynsay Sands, Sherrilyn Kenyon (because if characters from different books could be related, Cimil would most definitely be at Simi and Nucking Futs Nix family reunion) and Kerrilyn Sparks, and mixed them with the talented, darkly passionate brain that is all her. Readers can feel the passion she has coming off in waves from each and every page, fall in love with all of her characters, both the good ones and the bad. She is also one of the few authors that have taken the time to actually do her research on the Pantheons and incorporated it in this series, blending all into one, well fourteen, nutty gods. Mostly, her biggest goal has been accomplished ten-fold, bringing smiles to the faces of her readers, when they need it most. There has been many a day where I have been on the verge of going on a homicidal rampage that would give Ixtab, Goddess of Suicide, a run for her money, but getting lost in the world that she creates helps to laugh off some of the flames.  Mimi Jean's humor is nicely dark and twisted, just the way I like it.

Vampires Need Not...Apply? features the goddess none of the others would ever want to trade titles with, the Goddess of Suicide.  Ixtab feels as though she is cursed even more-so than all of the others, since she can't allow any living creature to touch her, even cats, without them instantly committing suicide, in various creative ways.  What drove her to begin wearing her black veil and shapeless clothing was one death that has taken her two centuries to get over, her mate.  So when she comes face to face with the womanizing physicist she has been charged to help, and she finds herself staring into the same face as her Francisco sparks fly, just not the kind with butterflies and rainbows.  After seeing what an arrogant pig he presents himself as, she is ready to walk away and let Fate take over, until she realizes she can touch him without killing him.

Dr. Antonio Acero is dead set on discovering the secrets of the tablet and to open the portal in can create, and not just to save humanity.  Acero's driving force is to save his brother from a father that gives the term Dead Beat Dad a whole new meaning, but his time is running out.  And when a chain of events leads to him becoming a Vampire at Ixtab's request he's ready to rip her head off, since it puts a rather huge flaw in his plans. Though she seems to drive him stark raving mad, he can't deny the pull he feels toward her, even before he sees how beautiful she is. And her simple touch makes him realize the necessity of vampires wearing triple stitch leather pants. The real question is, why is he so ready to accept a world where vampires, deities and other such creatures exist? Is he, a man of science, truly that open minded? Or is he something else altogether.

And my question: WHO AND WHAT THE HELL ARE ANN AND JESS?! The question has yet to be answered and is driving me bonkers. We have seen the duo interact and befriend quite a few of the women, tho never with all of them at once. And exactly what is Cimil up to, and what is her end game? Seems as though all of the chaos she created is leading up to a devastating outcome. Only question: will it stop the Apocalypse, or actually cause it? Hopefully those questions will be answered soon.

Do not do this book the injustice of reading it as a Stand Alone, while it can be done, you will not receive the full impact. Even the Novella's must be read. Fans will be happy with all of the interactions with characters we know and love, and a reunion that will cause a few tears to be shed.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Accidentally...Evil?

Accidentally...Evil? by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff (ARC Review)
Accidentally Yours Book 3.5
RePublished April 30, 2013 by Forever Yours
5 Mystical Stars!

"Without evil there would be no need for heroes, and life would be a lot more dull."

Synopsis -

Backlum Chaam, the God of Male Virility, wasn't always such a bad guy. Before his heart turned black and his biggest goal in life became destroying mankind, he was just like any god. Compassionate, loyal, and dedicated. So where did it all go wrong? Sometimes broken hearts don't heal... (Goodreads)

Review -

Did it really all go wrong?  Or did it go exactly according to plan? Looks as though our favorite do-badder is up to her usual antics. The question readers will be left hanging with is why.

Accidentally...Evil? answers more questions than readers even thought to ask. It has been assumes since book 1 that Chaam had been evil from the beginning,  simply tired of his lot in life, as most of the other gods fans have come to know and love. Turns out we couldn't have been farther from the truth. And the reason for his descent will have not only readers in tears, but even el loco, Cimil. The reason for exuberance is also brought to light in this novella.

In this heart-wrenching, darkly hilarious novella, with a devastating ending, readers will fall madly in love with the most hated of all of the gods, as did his mate, Maggie.  Though most novellas fail to give a believable love story in such few pages, that is not the case here. Both except  what fate has lay before them. Only their happily ever after is very short lived.

Some may be tempted to skip this book, I strongly advise against doing so. It is a very important aspect to this series, and an extremely enjoyable read.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? Review

Accidentally Married To....A Vampire? by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff (ARC Review)
Accidentally Yours Book 2
Re-Published March 5, 2013 by Forever
5 Bloody Fangs

"Dark humor, dark love and action packed with a good dose of violence, what more could a girl ask for?"

Synopsis -

“If you love her, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours. If she doesn’t…Christ! Stubborn woman! Hunt her down, and bring her the hell back; she’s still yours according to vampire law.”
- Niccolo DiConti, General of the Vampire Queen’s Army.

THE DETERMINED VAMPIRE: Niccolo DiConti has faithfully served as leader of Her Majesty’s army for over a millennium, but he’d rather sunbathe in the Sahara than spend another grueling day under his demented queen’s command. However, no one has ever left her side and lived to tell. So when a powerful goddess prophesies he will meet his salvation—a human woman he must turn into a vampire with her consent—he eagerly rises to the challenge. After all, how hard could it be to seduce a human female into taking the immortal plunge? Harder than he thinks. Because his mate won’t be born for another three centuries, and when he wakes up in the goddess’ tomb, not only is his life a mess, but his destined female isn’t about to settle for a coldhearted vampire. Can he win her over before it’s too late? Not if his enemies have anything to do with it. 

AN UNWILLING BRIDE: On the night Helena Strauss meets the fierce, devastatingly handsome vampire who saves her life in the jungles of Mexico, she knows her world will be forever changed. Because an attraction this mind blowing only comes along once in a lifetime—or existence. And when he claims she is his one true mate, destined to be his for all eternity, it’s a fairytale come true. So what if her knight in shining armor is a vampire? Nobody’s perfect. But discovering the powerful, overbearing immortal doesn’t “do love”? Deal breaker. Helena will flee and set out to accomplish the impossible…sever the otherworldly bond between them. And it turns out, Helena is just the leverage Niccolo’s enemies need to break the mighty warrior and wipe out his people.  (Goodreads)

Review -

If Krestley Cole and Kerrelyn Sparks had a love child, her name would be Mimi Jean Pamfiloff.  When sitting down to read any book in the Accidentally Yours Series, be prepared to laugh, cry, cringe and lose a good nights sleep.  Accidentally Married to...a Vampire will take readers on an emotional roller coaster ride that all Paranormal lovers are sure to enjoy.

Cimil, a Goddess who would make Nucking Futs Nix proud, is still up to her old tricks when a vampire, Niccolo Diconti, comes seeking her help.  Instead of just giving him straight forward advice (I mean, really, where is the fun in that?) she gives him the advice he "needs".  And knowing that he will not survive the 300 years it will take for his salvation to even be born, she knocks him out, for 300 years.  While he's sleeping she gifts him with a lil surprise.  

Niccolo is more than sure he will have no trouble at all doing as Cimil has told him, after-all, as gorgeous as he is it can't be too hard to seduce his mate.  After living for thirteen centuries, surviving countless battles, leading the Vampire Army, earning the name of the Executioner, it seems winning over his Vampire Bride may be the hardest challenge he has ever faced.  Because when it comes to matters of the heart he is completely clueless, especially since he never realized how much trust played into the equation.  Trust is very hard to build when you have been forbade to reveal the secrets of your world.  It is even harder when the person you are trying desperately to avoid any and all questions from just happens to be a scientist.  His heated and passionate kisses can only hold her off of demanding answers for so long.

Helena is willing to except the fact that not only is Niccolo a vampire, seeing as she is a scientists whom studies things of the unnatural variety it isn't exactly that far stretched for her, and even the fact that he cannot reveal any secrets of his world until she has been transformed.  But, when he tells vampires are unable to love, she wants out, and she doesn't just sit around twiddling her thumbs but takes matters into her own hands and escapes her penthouse prison.  Which takes her on the adventure of a lifetime; running across a drop dead scrumptious looking Demilord with plans of his own, a bar full of leather-clad men with the same sexual preferences as her own, and face to face with the sadistic Vampire Queen that is the ultimate proof of how dangerous it can be for a vampires mate to be human.  

Unpredictability at its best, readers will be guessing as to what will happen from one page to the next and won't experience even one dull moment.  A true must read for Paranormal and PNR lovers everywhere.
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